since the dawn of (wo)man...

I hate generalizing and would normally never make a blanket statement about all women, but it seems to me that women have a way of being petty, malicious and competitive in a way that men are not. No, I'm not talking about America's Next Top Model, I'm talking about women's (and for that matter couples') decision if and when to have children.

More often than not throughout history, women who have chosen paths other than motherhood have been treated like they were avoiding their god-given duty, as if being a mother (or desiring to be a mother) was the natural state of being and those who disagreed were the variation on their natural state. (You know, just like how being hetero is natural and being not hetero is some sort of "alternative lifestyle".)

As more and more women choose to delay or completely put off motherhood, I'm finding that there seems to be a (teeny tiny) backlash towards the women who still do choose to have children. Not by the mainstream, but by the feminist community. "Oh, you're getting married, buying a house and then having a couple kids? You can't possibly be a feminist." In the interest of full disclosure, I do not have children, and while I wouldn't rule it out as a future life-decision, I am not climbing up the walls waiting to get a baby in my arms. Children are pretty gross, and right now I'm totally okay with my life-decision to have beer and a box of mac n' cheese for dinner at least once a week.

That statement brings me to another point. Depending on your audience, you might have to defend yourself According to the mainstream; (I hate that word) women who choose not to have kids must be selfish and totally unable to grow up and give up their lifestyle for the miraculous gift of parenthood. According to some liberals; women who start families are brainwashed into thinking that that's how they need to live their lives and we need more people going against the grain if we're ever going to change the social structure of this society. Either way, someone will criticize you.

But two wrongs don't make a right, and retaliation is the opposite of progress.

I think that most thoughtful feminists would tell me that they respect whatever choice a woman makes, at whatever point in her life, but I think they would be lying if they didn't at least know what I'm talking about. I can be guilty of this too, like I said, children are pretty gross so it's better for my life if I choose my friends based on the amount of grossness in their lives, but I know it doesn't make it better. Why does it always have to be a comparison? Why can't it just be what it is? How did everything turn full circle from fighting for the right to prevent pregnancy to now fighting to be mothers without judgment? It would be nice if we stopped attacking each other and just became more supportive of each other's life-decisions, because that's what we're asking from everyone else.

Am I alone in this or do people know what I'm talking about?