we were just talking!

Have you ever watched something where everyone else in the audience or in the group of people you're with was laughing but you didn't find it funny at all, and so because you're not also laughing you really pick up on just HOW FUNNY they all think it is and all their STUPID laughs makes your eye twitch like a crazy person? No? Well this is how I feel when I see this commercial. (It's in 2 short parts.)

Apparently this is an older commerical that they've been replaying recently, but I saw it for the first time at the movie theater. It played, and the audience ROARED. I sat there in silence, my feminist rage boiling with each and every chuckle. Then, I look over at husband, and he's laughing too. "WHAT?!?!", I say. He thinks it's funny. I give him the look.

Later, we see this ad on tv. I guess they've decided to run it EVERY WAKING SECOND on every channel. Blah. Anyway, we see it again and husband laughs. I shoot him the look (and I MEAN it this time) and so he shakes his head "so wrong". Mmmm hmmm. Yeah. You were laughing because you think it's wrong.

Look, I know there's no such thing as a non-sexist Axe commerical. Spray on some Axe and the bikini models come a runnin', it's a proven fact. Just look it up. But there's something about this one that makes the blood from all my extremeties quickly make their way to my head so that I can just be more enraged at the world.

Let's start with the first one. Did you hear her voice? That man is HER PROPERTY so don't touch him, ladies. The girls be jealous all up in this shiznet. Amirite, ladies?

And then the second one might just be my favorite. She says "Hi" to the super smooth mannequin dude (which let's be clear, is plastic dripping in Axe body spray, gross) and Roger PUNCHES HIS HEAD OFF IN A SHOW OF MANLY AGGRESSION. Because dood, that girl is HIS PROPERTY. Don't be mackin' on my girl, mannequin! Over-reaction much? Yeah. The dudes be jealous all up in this shiznet. Basically, Axe will make you jealous. So jealous that you can't function like normal people.

Women just CANNOT control themselves around a man wearing Axe. And when a woman can't control herself around you, well you've just gotta defend that, bro.

Someone. Please. Take the remote away from me. I am seriously tftf. (Too feminist to function.)

The Feminist Diaries

My experience with feminism is approximately 7 years in to what I assume will be a lifelong journey. I have a bachelor’s degree in Gender & Women’s Studies which I suppose makes me qualified to talk about the basics of feminism, but I’m not an expert and I’m still figuring it out. And since the world isn’t static, the relationship between me, feminism and the real world is constantly changing.

I know a lot of feminists. I’ve read about and by a lot of feminists. Some of those feminists came from a completely academic standpoint and some were diehard radical activists, but most are a combination of the two. The glaring truth about feminism is that there is no one way to be a feminist. I am a feminist, and I can’t even describe it.

There are lots of things that feminism could be, but there is essentially nothing that feminism must be. I know what you’re thinking. “I’m sure we could all agree on at least one thing, that in order to be a feminist you must believe in equality for women.” But no, I’d have to disagree. There certainly are feminist theorists (Margaret Fuller for example) who would argue that women and men are very different, each having different strengths and inherent characteristics. I’m not here to give you a feminist theory lesson, but know that there are many feminist theories, some that radically differ from each other, and they are still all feminist.

In the real world, however, feminism matters more in practice than in theory. Being a feminist affects everything you think about and everything you do, and sometimes you think so hard about something it makes it difficult for you to integrate into mainstream society, something I lovingly call “too feminist to function” or TFTF.

It is these interactions that I plan to explore here, for you to read and discuss. I am not right or wrong in any of my observations, because they are just that. As I said, I am still negotiating my place in this world as a feminist and it helps to talk about it.

I expect that posts will be described as equal parts thoughtful, intelligent, funny and batshit crazy. I’m also hoping to regularly feature guest posts so if you’re interested, get in touch with the “ask me anything” button.

My last request is to keep discussions civil, but please share your insights and opinions so that we can have thoughtful discussion. I won’t delete comments just because I disagree with them but I will delete any posts that are overtly racist, offensive or full of profanity. Let’s be adults, guyz.

Happy reading!