we were just talking!

Have you ever watched something where everyone else in the audience or in the group of people you're with was laughing but you didn't find it funny at all, and so because you're not also laughing you really pick up on just HOW FUNNY they all think it is and all their STUPID laughs makes your eye twitch like a crazy person? No? Well this is how I feel when I see this commercial. (It's in 2 short parts.)

Apparently this is an older commerical that they've been replaying recently, but I saw it for the first time at the movie theater. It played, and the audience ROARED. I sat there in silence, my feminist rage boiling with each and every chuckle. Then, I look over at husband, and he's laughing too. "WHAT?!?!", I say. He thinks it's funny. I give him the look.

Later, we see this ad on tv. I guess they've decided to run it EVERY WAKING SECOND on every channel. Blah. Anyway, we see it again and husband laughs. I shoot him the look (and I MEAN it this time) and so he shakes his head "so wrong". Mmmm hmmm. Yeah. You were laughing because you think it's wrong.

Look, I know there's no such thing as a non-sexist Axe commerical. Spray on some Axe and the bikini models come a runnin', it's a proven fact. Just look it up. But there's something about this one that makes the blood from all my extremeties quickly make their way to my head so that I can just be more enraged at the world.

Let's start with the first one. Did you hear her voice? That man is HER PROPERTY so don't touch him, ladies. The girls be jealous all up in this shiznet. Amirite, ladies?

And then the second one might just be my favorite. She says "Hi" to the super smooth mannequin dude (which let's be clear, is plastic dripping in Axe body spray, gross) and Roger PUNCHES HIS HEAD OFF IN A SHOW OF MANLY AGGRESSION. Because dood, that girl is HIS PROPERTY. Don't be mackin' on my girl, mannequin! Over-reaction much? Yeah. The dudes be jealous all up in this shiznet. Basically, Axe will make you jealous. So jealous that you can't function like normal people.

Women just CANNOT control themselves around a man wearing Axe. And when a woman can't control herself around you, well you've just gotta defend that, bro.

Someone. Please. Take the remote away from me. I am seriously tftf. (Too feminist to function.)