Enough with my problems, here is something I really like. This is the glorious Tina Fey on Ellen talking about her pregnancy with her second child and how they're not going to find out the sex of the baby, ever. They're just going to wait to see what it wears to prom. The comments start at 0:38 but the whole segment is adorable and hilarious. (By the way, she just had the baby, and it's a girl.)

we were just talking!

Have you ever watched something where everyone else in the audience or in the group of people you're with was laughing but you didn't find it funny at all, and so because you're not also laughing you really pick up on just HOW FUNNY they all think it is and all their STUPID laughs makes your eye twitch like a crazy person? No? Well this is how I feel when I see this commercial. (It's in 2 short parts.)

Apparently this is an older commerical that they've been replaying recently, but I saw it for the first time at the movie theater. It played, and the audience ROARED. I sat there in silence, my feminist rage boiling with each and every chuckle. Then, I look over at husband, and he's laughing too. "WHAT?!?!", I say. He thinks it's funny. I give him the look.

Later, we see this ad on tv. I guess they've decided to run it EVERY WAKING SECOND on every channel. Blah. Anyway, we see it again and husband laughs. I shoot him the look (and I MEAN it this time) and so he shakes his head "so wrong". Mmmm hmmm. Yeah. You were laughing because you think it's wrong.

Look, I know there's no such thing as a non-sexist Axe commerical. Spray on some Axe and the bikini models come a runnin', it's a proven fact. Just look it up. But there's something about this one that makes the blood from all my extremeties quickly make their way to my head so that I can just be more enraged at the world.

Let's start with the first one. Did you hear her voice? That man is HER PROPERTY so don't touch him, ladies. The girls be jealous all up in this shiznet. Amirite, ladies?

And then the second one might just be my favorite. She says "Hi" to the super smooth mannequin dude (which let's be clear, is plastic dripping in Axe body spray, gross) and Roger PUNCHES HIS HEAD OFF IN A SHOW OF MANLY AGGRESSION. Because dood, that girl is HIS PROPERTY. Don't be mackin' on my girl, mannequin! Over-reaction much? Yeah. The dudes be jealous all up in this shiznet. Basically, Axe will make you jealous. So jealous that you can't function like normal people.

Women just CANNOT control themselves around a man wearing Axe. And when a woman can't control herself around you, well you've just gotta defend that, bro.

Someone. Please. Take the remote away from me. I am seriously tftf. (Too feminist to function.)

Live from New York!

Recently I've been watching some older Saturday Night Live episodes from the early 2000's, back when the cast included Darrell Hammond, Will Ferrell, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph, Horatio Sanz, a young Amy Poehler and Tina Fey and of course, Jimmy Fallon. While the cast is always evolving and in my opinion always bringing really fresh and talented commedians onto the cast, this was definitely one of it's shining moments in SNL player history.

I noticed that there seemed to be a ton more breaking (laughter during a scene that breaks character) than I was used to in present-day SNL. To help you understand this phenomenon, I've created a quick and easy guide to tell whether or not the players are going to break during any given skit.

what doesn't kill us is making us stronger

I recently experienced 10-months of unemployment. During that time I had periods of usefulness and periods of time where I really took life by the reins, but for most of it I caught up on television. So in the interest of full disclosure, I very recently watched every single episode of Roseanne from start to finish. I watched it pretty often as a kid, both during prime-time and in reruns, but as an "adult" (I think we all know why that's in quotations) I have a whole new appreciation for both Roseanne Barr and the show. During my 2 week long Roseannathon I followed Roseanne and Dan’s several career changes and bad financial decisions; Becky, Darlene and DJ growing up from kids into adults (and in the case of Becky, into a whole new person entirely); and I even watched the last season where Dan was mostly absent and the Conners won the lottery. I was so obsessed with watching it I stay up until 2:00 and 3:00am trying to fit in as many episodes as possible until I crashed, and when it was time to watch the season finale, I sat in the bathroom watching it on my phone in the middle of the night. Spoiler alert: Dan died, and I bawled my eyes out. Husband was pretty pissed when he found out I was crying about Roseanne instead of a real problem.

The Conners were down to Earth and real. Yes, many of the problems they faced were no more than your average situational comedy plots, but many of them were “firsts” of that generation, like leading characters who were overweight and a realistic blue collar family, and that dealt with taboo topics like birth control, social class and sex (fat seks at that!). And you know what, they fought with each other. The way real families fight. Not the way TV families fight, but the way you and I fought with our parents, our partners and our employers. (Okay, maybe we’ve never instigated a walk-out, but you know what I mean.)

Anyway, it’s not news that Roseanne is a progressive feminist and absolutely totally fucking awesome, but recently she’s been making her rounds back into the spotlight, and it couldn’t be better. I mean, she’s still kind of fat, but is visibly happy and healthy, and *gasp* she has gray hair. Let me rephrase. She is ROCKING the gray hair. Could I love her any more than I already do? Apparently I can.

So when this article was recently published in New York Magazine about Roseanne being a domestic goddess and a feminist pioneer (and subsequently made its rounds on the feminist blogosphere) I just had to make my comments on it. It’s totally worth the read but if you find it too lengthy here is my favorite highlight.

"Nothing real or truthful makes its way to TV unless you are smart and know how to sneak it in, and I would tell you how I did it, but then I would have to kill you. Based on Two and a Half Men’s success, it seems viewers now prefer their comedy dumb and sexist. Charlie Sheen was the world’s most famous john, and a sitcom was written around him. That just says it all. Doing tons of drugs, smacking prostitutes around, holding a knife up to the head of your wife -sure, that sounds like a dream come true for so many guys out there, but that doesn’t make it right! People do what they can get away with (or figure they can), and Sheen is, in fact, a product of what we call politely the 'culture.'"

You say it, sistah! There's almost nothing progressive on TV anymore. And don't even think about commenting about how Modern Family or The Closer or The L-Word or Murphy Brown whatever fucking show you think is so progressive is truly modernizing television. They're not really. I'm not saying Roseanne was a total game changer. In fact, it obviously wasn't, because even Roseanne claims that it was "television’s first feminist and working-class-family sitcom (also its last)."

But in reality, I think Roseanne's shining feminist moment was in the very last episode in her revealing monologue. She said:

"We didn’t hit our children as we were hit, we didn’t demand their unquestioning silence, and we didn’t teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons.

As a modern wife, I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress, and usually, I failed by one outsider’s standards or anothers. But I figured out that neither winning nor losing count for women like they do for men. We women are the ones who transform everything we touch — and nothing on earth is higher than that."

Well to the major networks and the cable stations, I say: You've underestimated us. Trust us, we can handle it. Just try it. And don't be snarks about it. Do it for real. We're capable of handling it. And don't say you don't know how to create a progressive, real tv show that's also funny and gets high ratings. We have faith in you. We know you can do it :)

And for a little fun, the funniest Roseanne moment ever. Guess what? Sometimes parents are irresponsible. And it's fucking hilarious.

And for good measure, here's the closing song from the finale, because not only was the message a pivotal part of the show, but because it signaled the end of my Roseannathon, and I'm still grieving.