you've come a long way, baby

I have a dirty  little secret.

Sometimes I wonder about feminism. I mean, I’ve basically dedicated my social life to trying to prove to people that feminism is more than birth control pills and hairy legs, but in reality, is it?

I secretly wonder if we’re just causing more problems for ourselves, and if we just left things alone maybe natural social progression would solve the issues themselves.

To understand what I mean, let’s look at the chronological break down of feminist movements. Feminism has no defined leaders, but generally speaking there are some key leaders within each wave. Each wave is not totally exclusive, but this is super simplified and mostly off the top of my head:

——————First Wave (1890’s-1950’s)

Issues: Suffrage, education reform, right of married women to work outside the home, right to inherit property
Leaders: Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Marie Stopes, Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797)

Second Wave (1960’s-late 1980’s)Issues: Sexual harassment and workplace rights, reproductive rights (including “the pill” and abortion legalization), strong rejection of patriarchy and beginnings of gender binary rejection and a partnership/coincidental relationship with the civil rights and anti-war movements. Best known for “radical feminism” and the foundation of NOW (National Organization of Women).
Leaders: Gloria Steinem, Betty Freidan, bell hooks, Simone de Beauvoir

Third Wave (early 1990’s-present)Issues: Women’s empowerment & “girl power”, lgbt rights, mother’s rights (breastfeeding, maternal health), complete rejection of gender binary, womanism, postmodernism, continued abortion rights and global women’s issues.
Leaders: Rebecca Walker, Judith Butler
———————
In the big picture, I can see how these are all parts of the overall goal of women’s emancipation.

But I have to wonder if all this feminist stuff was really necessary. I mean, don’t good things come to those who wait?

I mean, maybe if women hadn’t gotten their corsets and petticoats in bunch about voting and going to work, they wouldn’t have to be worried about things like sexual harassment and equal pay. And maybe if women weren’t going out of the house and their virginity was protected, we wouldn’t have to even have abortion. And furthermore, maybe if women hadn’t been going to work in the first place and staying at home with their children where they belonged, we wouldn’t now be fighting for things like maternity leave, breastfeeding rights and childcare. You wanted to work outside the home, but now you need all this special stuff to do it. You wanted to use birth control, but now you’re fussing about rights to motherhood. Make up your mind, woman!

Yes, I’m being crass. But you get my point. Isn’t there the chance that some of this would have worked itself out on its own? And my god, why is it taking so long? How have we been at this for over 100 years and all I have to show for it is this “Sisterhood is Blooming” magnet?

In reality though, we might have all these rights on paper, but we still haven’t even come close to touching women’s emancipation. Violence against women is still rampant across this country, women are still making less than 80 cents for every man’s dollar, and the gender binary in children seems to be getting worse (fuck you, Disney princesses). What is it going to take for true equal rights and for feminism to become obsolete? Because, essentially, that’s the goal, right? Or maybe it’s not. Like I’ve said before, we have no goal.

I know this is all necessary, but sometimes I just want to throw up my hands, because people just don’t get it. And I can’t make them get it. And it makes me wonder if what we’re doing really makes a difference. Is it really better that women can work outside of the home even though they’re still making less? Is it really better that women can control family size if they aren’t even being told about safe sex in school? Is it SERIOUSLY a success that a woman can legally charge her husband for rape if it’s only been prosecuted in cases that coincide with physical violence?  Don’t even get me started on other issues like queer rights, minority rights and children rights. Because it feels like we’ve done nothing. I know I’m kind of ranting, but you can see where my frustration lies.

No, I don’t really think we’d be better off if we hadn’t stood up for ourselves. But I do wonder if we’d really be that far behind where we are now.