to love and to cherish

Tomorrow my old college buddy Mel and my young dems buddy Trey are getting married....to each other. They are like salt and pepper, peanut butter and jelly, macaroni and cheese, Fred and Ginger - just basically two people who are absolutely perfect for each other and who belong together. I think the world sighed a big breath of relief when these two souls finally met on that fateful day a little over two years ago.

So for them I'd like to share a little bit of wisdom from my wedding that has held great meaning for us.

Trey & Melissa: Because you will be safe in marriage, you can risk; because you have been promised a future, you can take extraordinary chances. Because you know you are loved, you can step beyond your fears; because you have been chosen, you can transcend your insecurities. You can make mistakes, knowing the other will be there to catch you. And because mistakes and risks are the very essence of change, of expansion, in marriage you will expand to your fullest capacity.

I love you guys. I wish you a lifetime full of joy and happiness. :)

runnin' wild

Congratulations to my birthplace, Zanesville, Ohio for making national news. It's not everyday that "Zanesville" is a trending twitter topic, and you bet I soaked it up for all it was worth.

Now, whenever people ask where I'm from, I'm going to proudly tell them that yes, I'm from the town where someone opened the Jumanji board and set all the jungle animals free. <3 Y-CITY 4 LYFE!!!

Muskingum County Sheriff Matt Lutz speaking with animal expert and Ohioan Jack Hanna.
"These are wild animals, wild animals that you would see on TV .. in Africa." -- Lutz

shine til' tomorrow

This is what I'm listening to at work, on repeat, and it's mellowing me out. Thank you, Ray Charles.



silence like a cancer grows

You know you're under a lot of stress when you see this on your twitter feed and start crying before you even click the link.

The link to the story is here. Basically, it's just the fucking worst. I'm sitting here bitching about not having paid leave for Christmas and this is happening in Baltimore City. Literally two blocks away from where I'm sitting right now.

My head has been everywhere this week. And for some reason, everything has been a trigger. Yesterday I had to leave work and take a walk because I couldn't stop my brain from going there. And there's no one who can offer any relief so I just get to deal with it on my own.

This world is messed up.

He'll meet you wherever you are

This is where my blog takes an unexpected turn for the religious. I'll make it brief.

In the 6 months that I've worked at the Johns Hopkins Hospital campus I've had the chance to get to know one of the most touching traditions/fixtures of the Hopkins Community, the Jesus statue. The Jesus statue is under the dome of the original entrance to the hospital. His arms are outstretched and below him is written "Come unto Me, ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Patients and visitors leave notes, flowers and pictures at the base of his feet, and there is also a book where people can write their prayers.

Like many Hopkins employees, I make sure to take the route through the hospital instead of around it so that I can pass Jesus, touch his foot, say a prayer and cross myself. It's so brief, but it brings unexpected peace to my day. And peace is exactly what I always pray for; world peace and peace in my life, the peace that comes with forgiveness and the peace that comes with healing.

I am normally rushing by and don't stop to read any of the notes or look at any of the pictures, but the other day I saw a note attached to a flower that said "Please pray for us, we need prayers." It's hard to say why this note caught my eye, but it stopped me right in my tracks. I've been praying for myself, asking for peace in my life, and not for anyone else. I've been so selfish. And comparatively to the patients who have traveled the world to seek some of the best care available, my life is pretty easy and I should be thankful.

Maybe I've been avoiding the notes, the photos of kids with cancer and the heart-wrenching pictures of a child holding Jesus' hand drawn in crayon, or the desperate pleas for a cure. His outstretched arms and the scripture make me think of those for whom visiting the hospital means never returning home and so having to make peace with death. I spend about 4 seconds looking up at Him and saying my short prayer while there are people kneeling at His feet begging for their life. And you know, honestly, I feel honored. I feel honored to be part of this Hopkins tradition of prayer and thoughtfulness. I tend to be a "religion is a personal matter" kind of person and I don't wear my Catholicism on my sleeve, but for those few seconds when I'm in the presence of God and crossing myself in public, I am proud and humbled.

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

right out of my mouth

I don't need to ever post about name change because it's all right here.

falling, yes I am falling

I don't get it. Everyone told me to take care of myself. So I did that. I took charge of my own life and it felt great. And then...I get accused of being neglectful. I don't get that. I can't take care of anyone else unless I take care of myself, I always thought that was rule #1.

Whatever. I'm just being grumpy. My life is actually going quite well, thank you.